I have good news and bad news to share with you. The good news is that I just got my second shot of the Moderna vaccine and can once again venture forth out of my house where I have been a virtual prisoner forever and a day.
The bad news is that my bride is not sufficiently mature to be entitled to a needle in her arm. You see my bride is fourteen and a half years younger than I am. I had hoped that over time this gap would have narrowed, but for reasons beyond my limited comprehension, that gap hasn’t narrowed by even a day.
My problem is that even though most of my peers have also been vaccinated, I still can’t get together with them without leaving my bride home alone. One of my friends told me, “Burt, that’s the price you pay for marrying a child bride.”
I resent the implication that I married a child. I did not marry my bride when I was a teenager and she a mere toddler, nor did I marry my bride when she was in high school and I the mayor. My bride was a respectable 25 years of age when we took our vows, and I hope she knew what she was doing when she said, “Yes.”
If a slight delay in reentering the world is the price I have to pay for being married to the love of my life for almost 39 years, I can live with that very easily. I have waited almost a year to come out of hibernation, so if it takes another month or two before she gets her shot, then I will wait to come out , and we will venture forth together.
A few months ago I won a wager from my friend Steve of the Steve and Paula Mae Schwartz combo. I am owed a delicious dinner, but I will just have to wait a little bit longer before I collect what is my due. Sometimes delayed gratification simply enhances the pleasure.