As I am writing this column, I realize how much I want to be a man of the times. I want to be “with it,” join in whatever trend is popular today.  The most recent trend seems to be engaging in conspiracy theories and hurling around loose accusations. 

There are millions of people who still believe that Hillary Clinton is running a pedophile ring in the basement of a pizza parlor. Others believe that Bill Gates has somehow arranged to have a chip injected with the Covid-19 vaccine.

This trend for the bizarre has not escaped Malibu. A recently elected councilman has accused City Hall of doing construction work at the intersection of Malibu Canyon Road and the PCH for the purpose of suppressing the vote of people who live in Eastern Malibu. 

An outgoing councilman recently said he was offered a bribe 11 years ago and assumed that other councilman must have also been offered goodies. He recites in vivid detail what he was offered but cannot for the life of him remember the name of the person who offered him the bribe.

And so I too wish to get with the program and engage in some of this so-called new approach to “thinking.” You can most assuredly understand how irate I was when I learned that Malibu had appointed John Gotti to be the City’s interim attorney. 

For those of you who might not know, John Gotti is the mob boss, head of the Gambino Family. Known as the “Dapper Don” because of his expensive clothes, Gotti  has had many people killed. Gotti is also known as “The Teflon Don” because he was found not guilty in three major trials. That just goes to show you what a fantastic lawyer he is since he was able to get himself off not once, not twice, but three times.

With all these rumors swirling around Malibu that we are drowning in political corruption, why in God’s name would we choose John Gotti the gangster to represent our fair City? There seems to be no end of rampant corruption, and our government officials will live in infamy for making this inexcusable appointment.

Excuse me for a moment, but my phone is ringing. I will let you listen in on my part of the conversation—“John Gotti has been dead for 18 years? Oh my God! That can’t possibly be true. Are you certain? He was never an attorney? Don’t tell me that. You’re putting me on! The City Council appointed John Cotti, a reputable attorney, not John Gotti? Hmmm.”

SO SORRY WRONG AGAIN

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